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Normal Topic Please help me :( (Read 1,493 times)
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I Love my pets!

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Please help me :(
Apr 13th, 2013 at 11:37am
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So I noticed a few days ago that my beloved pet cockatoo was coming down with a slight case of bumblefoot. I didn't know what else to do, so I conducted some internet research to find out that a well-known cure was to feed my cockatoo 2 tbsp of rice soaked in a mixture of cupcake mix, water, and human semen. It took a few hours to make this, but I was finally able to. My thingy was really sore, the friction burns hurt like a cuss word, but it all seemed worth it for my little Bobo

I don't know what to do. After he swallowed the entire thing in less than a minute, I came back and noticed that he had swelled to the size of a small pumpkin, almost twice his original size. He is obese, just letting everyone know. His mouth was open, and he looked like he wasn't able to close it. Since I am, by nature, sexually attracted to birds, I made a last minute decision to stick my now erect thingy in his mouth in an effort to force the remedy down his little bird throat, and also hoping that reminding him of my feelings for him would bring him back.

He is now hanging from his branch that I crafted myself, because he is allergic to certain alloys commonly found in factory-made bird products. He appears to be breathing fine, I've been performing CPR to make sure of that. What should I do?
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