How that would work in my house (Santa would have to come there....).  I am an all cat house...

Buddy:  OMG!!!  Run!!!

Alcoa:  Listen here bud...I don't know who you are or what you want but if you think I'm sitting on your lap on your terms you have another thing coming.  I don't wear this spiked leather collar for nothing - it's a warning to all the dweebs like you that think I'm sweet... (all of this with a sarcast little twist/shake of her head - yes she does this to me when I tell her to get off the curtains)

Trouble:  Oh! Thanks the good Lord.  I need the following immediately:  my very own litter box - preferably pink to go with my pink and rhinestone collar - notice it spells my name out?  My own water bowl...pink as well, my own queen size bed - why mummy thinks that letting me have half of her queen size bed is acceptable to the princess that I am is beyond me.  My own couch, T.V. and scratching post.  As the diva princess that I am why I should share with anyone is beyond me!  I mean really!....  Yes, I will deign to sit on your lap (it's rather wide isn't it?) but do not think to touch me....I am special and beyond the likes of you!  Ask my mummy she has to worship me every day!